Why I like difficult.

I expected challenges when I first enrolled in the required Communication 199 (Thesis Proposal) last year, but the challenges I, together with all my other classmates, faced throughout the course were beyond what our imagination could fathom at the time.

Our Professor, who I choose to believe is driven by excellence and a desire for it, was a very intelligent person. She didn't hide the fact that Research was her favorite course back in her college days, and we were just amazed with her stories of her "nerdity".

My classmates and I quickly noticed the difference between our class and the other classes taught by another professor. For one, we had a difficult time choosing our topics, because The Prof unabashedly eliminated those she deemed insignificant of study. I know a trio who submitted three sets of topics - all rejected. At the end of the course, our grades simply magnified the difference between our class and the other. The other class' grades ranged from 85 (roughly 2.0, if my calculations are correct) and above. I and my partner got the highest - 2.25. And a lot of my classmates failed.

But even when we were grovelling to meet The Prof's demands, spending sleepless nights revising and revising again to meet her standards, and even when at the end, my final grade for the course was lower than what I would have preferred, I still say that I do not regret being under her. In fact, yes, let me say it -- I loved it.

Early on, I told my thesis partner Charlie that we would have to do anything and everything to meet The Standards, even if it hurt us. This principle applied even at the initial part of the course when we first had to choose our topics. I wanted to do something on Culture and Communication and already had my eyes on a specific village in Ifugao. That meant having to spend a huge amount of energy and resources. But I insisted, because I believed we had a better chance of bagging the Best Thesis prize with such a study.

And so every time we were faced with the choice of doing something difficult or doing something easy, Charlie would just look at me, understanding, and say, "Oo, alam ko, gusto mong pinahihirapan ang sarili mo."

For the record, I am no masochist.

But during that time, while we were undergoing the course and it became plain how much harder we were having it compared to the other classes, even while my classmates cursed The Prof for all such hardships and themselves for taking her class, I held on. I think I believed that we were much better off and were under better tutelage than the other class, and hence, I equated all these difficulties with better quality - of education and of learning.

And so when I held the returned and checked final output bearing the red mark of 2.0 it was pure bliss. Bliss at having conquered The Prof's hurdles. And an unquenchable feeling of pride at being the owner of such a mark.

Again, I am not a masochist, but I like difficult, because from personal observation, difficult does often result to best. One example is our respective college educations. Some people believe they are better (indeed, others have proven to be better) than others because their college educations were more difficult than others.

Think of the choir members who receive the Conductor's stinging criticisms and commands openly and willingly, knowing that following such an expert would make them better performers.

Or Manny Pacquiao, who endured hellish trainings under his Coach for the reward of victory and titles and trophies and wealth enough to make anyone drool.

Think of a doctor, or a nurse. Would you trust your life to the hands of someone you know has not had any proper training, someone who achieved his diploma from one of the many diploma-factories in the country masquerading as "nurse colleges"? And the reward of the doctor's or the nurse's difficult training could be a license to practice.


Think of the soldier. The soldier cannot possibly be effective in battle without having passed through rigorous and arduous training. One reward the soldier is glad to receive could simply be that of keeping his own life.


Think of our faith. How many times in the Bible were we Christians called to endure, to stand fast, to keep the faith? All these point the simple stark fact that things are to be difficult, hard, weary. And while our experiences may differ greatly, I think we can agree on the fact that at one point in our lives, we feel like going through the Shadow of Death.

The results, however, of such difficulties are promising and indeed are to be looked forward to - stronger faith, more maturity, a deeper relationship with and understanding of God, fruitful and abundant life... the list goes on.

And that is why I like difficult.


In retrospect, another reward of going through The Prof is having less difficulty now in Comm 200 (Thesis Proper) than those who were in the other class. Our formats and content, it turned out, are those appropriate for the Thesis Proper.